Chill

It's raining gently. I can see the bay from my window as I study microbiology. The wind is coming in and hitting my face, drying the lotion I put on my forehead.

I noticed my first wrinkles on my forehead this morning. I'm 25. I should be further in my career than I am yet I have done so much with my life that I would feel satisfied with it if I had to bury myself in work for the rest of it.

That's just what I'm doing. The heavy 14 hour days are hitting. Tomorrow we have microbiology, physical diagnosis, and pathology lectures in the morning. Then I have CPD lab and pathology lab in the afternoon. 8 hours of scheduled activity then I have to study.

The challenge isn't the workload as much as the emotions and focus. You need to sit still for so long every day and assimilate information.

I find myself sometimes pining for Spain. Particularly, I miss it now that the excitement of my second term is over and the prospect of a social life in my third term passed me by. I look forward to being warm but reclusive this term. My goals:

Maintain honors status.
Meditate daily for at least 15 minutes.
Dance at least 2x per month
Eat with friends at least once per week
Work out every SINGLE day
Maintain a clean mind and living space
Learn more martial arts
Maintain my rigorous schedule
Avoid distractions, negativity, overexcitement
Lose the anticipation and desire that keeps me shackled to external outcomes
Find more peace
Realize that there is no failure, only the temporary absence of success.
Firecracker daily
Maintain a positive attitude and my friends.
Rotate who I hang out with.
Plan my next trip to a Spanish-speaking place

Some of these are vague. Some are imperative and defined.

Last night was a potluck with Aaron, Brendan, Louisa, Chris, Kayleigh, and I. I made a spicy chicken dish and a medley salad that I usually make. It was wonderful. We talked over vignettes and strayed from the topics to talk about college sex and some gossip about campus. Having a non-student there was refreshing.
I chatted with Chris's roommate in Spanish a bit.

For the next 4 months my life will be this and this only. That's ok.

It has been tough getting over a relationship with someone who I see and work with every day. The most important thing is that I take care of myself first. I still want the best for this person, but it is not in my best interest to spend too much time with her. I am not pursuing anything with anyone this term. That was delightfully confusing but right now, work is my mistress.