July 31st.

I woke up at 6:42 this morning. My late dreams have been gripping lately. Like there's every reason to get up but at the same time I love lying there and lingering in someone else's life which my mind creates every night.

Associations and stimuli are what link us to every single moment and the past.

Although I derive very little meaning from this: everything that we experience, even our cognition of things, is actually in the past. There is a lot of debate as to whether or not consciousness is just a passenger in our lives.

Last night I had a good night of bingo with my friends from the path group. I'm doing the things I always do: study, review material from last year (I did 35 questions from Biochem, Anatomy, Physio, Neuroanatomy, and immunology), make a nice coffee drink, delve into parts of the internet which soak up time and attention, plan a workout, twitching to facebook every 5 or 10 minutes, and whatnot. Today I will run with a friend and practice martial arts with another friend. The latter I'm trying to sleep with, the former I'm trying to stop thinking about sleeping with.

Conditioned stimuli...something which is previously neutral takes on an emotional valence due to pairing with something which you enjoy/fear/respond to naturally.

I haven't had a strawberry since I was with the Spanish woman, feeding them to her as we caressed in gentle candlelight and a light haze of alcohol and cultural infatuation.

After eating strawberries once or twice I will not have that heart-pounding pairing and they will just be strawberries again.

There are birds on the powerline outside. They sit there whether it is raining or not.

It's incredible how basic I am. After all the thoughts and hours of writing to express something really deep or profound about my life which has been so wrought with privilege and yet discomfort...it just comes down to a day, a sensation, an interpretation, emotional valence, and then dismissal with eventual  forgetting.

Unless my world is totally disrupted this July 31st, I will continue being a medical student and today will just pass... Kind of lonely but with great company. As a person, I'm not the most ambitious in the world but on track to do everything that I want in life.

I noticed on my pageviews that someone from Ukraine paid me a visit. Please, link me to your craft. Whatever you have written about your experience seems more impactful than mine...